Mental Health Mantra 1/365

It's the 1st of January 2021, I decided to step back into the Land of Blog.

For a few reasons. 

With everything going on in 2019/2020 in my own life and also in the country/the world, I have stepped away from social media big time.  I had to focus what energy I had into caring and looking after my husband who was undergoing cancer treatment, the first major op being spinal stabilisation surgery then high dose intensive radiation (I may go deeper into this, but not just yet) I just could not cope with socials as well. I tried for a couple of weeks but I realised it was hugely draining.

I was also seeing seeing something happen that was making me feel really uncomfortable  - censorship.  Maybe it's the Jewish woman in me that fights for human rights and deplores shutting down of voices, I was stunned - I couldn't believe the way people were not permitted to have open discussions, or differing opinions. I was astounded that medical interventions to boost immunity were censored - I mean posts about Vitamin C, Zinc, and Quercetin were zapped out.  Having a honours degree in health and a debilitating viral illness for 9 years in my 20s I am a health investigator, researcher, and healer.  It made me feel very uncomfortable so I stepped away.  I still have my accounts  I pop in here and there, I hadn't been very present these past 15 months.  

I stopped blogging and vlogging a few years ago because it all seemed to be about being on the socials.  I was seeing less reach and it all became so complicated about widgets and coding .... bla bla bla and then I began to watch as accounts were deleted and taken down for holding a conversation about covid, I realised that I had invested 10 years in social media and bam, like that, all my stuff could be gone.  Even if I delete my account, poof, it's gone. 

I hadn't put any time or energy into my own website for a long while, which is held on my own server. I used to write lots on there under various other blogging sites.

In journalling every day, in my daily discussions with myself this morning, I made a pact. I would put effort into my own website and blog. Maybe even stepping up to vlog again or maybe even podcast.   I still have so much going on in my life in a caring capacity and also so much more (maybe I'll share that sometime) that takes all the energy I have in reserves, I have to spend what's left in filling up my own tanks.  

My pact extended a little further, I wanted to raise my vibration by creating every day and I turn back to Muse Mantras - these have been a lifesaver over the last 8 years. In the past 15 months since losing Mum and the grief that followed and Dad with vascular dementia, who's now living in a residential home and I can only visit him through a window (that's for another post), and for the past 9 months looking after my husband with cancer, I have sought so many things to keep me somehow upright and functioning.

Sometimes, I get it right, other times I collapse and cry in a heap at night because I feel I'm failing.  But I am going to give it a whirl and see if I can merge the two... and get to the end of January by posting a Muse Mantra every day.  I am revisiting illustrations that I have in my portfolio and will begin to upcycle them .  Who doesn't love an upcycle, plus it gets me back into the flow.

My intention is that these will help you to calm your mind and soothe your soul.   

Today I am OK - this affirmantra has been a huge focus for me over the past year as I have balanced all the plates in my life. It has been a life saver in the moment of grief, or sadness, or anxiety or despair, where I close my eyes, place my hands over my heart and say to myself and out loud.

TODAY I AM OK.

It soothes me. 
It keeps me in the now moment. 
I let go of fear.

Here it is for you too. 

TODAY I AM OK.

Sending oodles of love your way. 
Keep shining your light and trust your intuitive intelligence.

It has been a long time since I sat down and wrote a blog.  All of this is becoming clearer to me these past two days. 

For the past 6 years I have been struggling to find my way to write my 'back to health' story of when I was ill in my 20s with M.E, that debilitating health problem that floored me.  I have fleshed out the content, I knew exactly what this would be but... something was holding me back.  I ran a few online programmes called ReBalance Me, I began a ReBalance Me Club for people and then I suddenly found myself, slam dunk, right in the middle of something, I felt I was treading through mud.  I didn't know what it was.  

Then I began to peel back layers and recognised, I was peri menopausal moving into menopause.

My counselling practice sees me supporting many women to rebalance their lives, women who are going through many emotional symptoms, as well as physical (the emotional aren't really talked about). 

Fast forward to July 2018, and as I started my 50th year. 

Bam.

Guess what .... I realised that I too am now one of those women.   

I am in this phase. I am in the change.  I have known this for about 4-5 years and it has steadily got more and more challenging. Worse.

Do I recognise this current Julia?  Well, I see snippets of her, but really she's changing.   

Then, out on a walk with my Jacks, I realise that I need to truly reconnect with my own ReBalanceMe 7Ways , the one that I wrote many moons ago, and have amended for the last 2.  The one that I support and guide other women to look at. 

Mmm..... time to listen to my own guidance.
 
In my research and experience, I hear mostly about physical symptoms of peri and meno, but what isn't discussed much, is the feeling of "change."  Self esteem, confidence, desire, low mood, high mood, anxiety, all these hormonal fluctuations that make dealing with all of this, every day, so, so difficult. On top of that we are dealing with the life changes that occur when you're mid to late 40s, through 50s.

My intention now for this space is for you to feel calm, soothed, inspired, less stressed and anxious. I'll share with you my 7 Ways to Wellness that I write about in ReBalanceMe, with the main thread that I am going to be following this too.   I want you you take back the reigns and discover your own 7ways toolkit. I'm going to continue my research and talk to people about all of this, ultimately in talking about it with other holistic experts, I will share this via my vlog.