Do you sometimes struggle with putting yourself first?
It seems that if we are seen to do so, we may be seen as selfish.
Funny word that 'selfish'.
Self .......... ish
The dictionary definition is: lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
When I look at the Thesaurus alternatives, I'm faced with:
Egocentric, egotistic, egotistical, egomaniacal, self-centred, self-absorbed, self-obsessed, self-seeking, self-serving, wrapped up in oneself; inconsiderate, thoughtless, unthinking, uncaring, uncharitable; mean, miserly, grasping, greedy, mercenary, acquisitive, opportunistic; informal looking after number one.
My definition of selfish means 'focused on self' and certainly not all of those above.
Sometimes, just sometimes, we have to put ourselves first.
I am going to be itsy bitsy selfish as I take my Holiday at Home in August.
That means, saying no and putting myself first. Does that make me selfish?
Holidays aren't the only time I want to feel, rested, relaxed, nurtured, off radar.
I want to feel this way during the year too.
This past 4 years I have been calling in my core desired feelings - feelings that light me and and fill my boots. Thanks to Danielle LaPorte and The Desire Map
Connected, Abundant, Creative, Radiant, Divine.
Here are my 5 Ways to create your Holiday at Home
1. Make the Decision, find the time and block it out
Look at your diary and find at least 5 days clear.
You need to plan for this time.
Mark it on the calendar,
Dedicate the time.
I can't tell you how huge it is when you block out the time and not plan anything that is work related.
2. Tell Family, Friends, Colleagues, Potential Clients and Those Who Ask ... You're on holiday. When they ask where? You say, 'At Home.'
It is very tempting to feel like you have to say yes to an appointment, a commitment or a work opportunity.
Imagine you're going away on holiday - you would decline.
You have to say the same.
"Oh, that week? I'm on holiday, can we reschedule for the week of ______________"
Whether you're taking 1 day, 2 or more, believe it, deserve it and let it sink in.
3. Create a holiday at home vision page. Somewhere you can see it. (I take a photo and save it as my desktop background and also have it on my phone wallpaper).
I created a page in my vision book called 'Decadence'. I used to do this when I was younger, only those times I'd call them mood books.
It nudged me to actually wake up and spend time finding out what I wanted for my holiday at home.
**Think about the feeling you want to feel during your holiday time.
Is it relaxed, soothed, energised.
Cast your mind to previous holidays away - what feelings did they bring out in you?
**Spend time with some magazines, scissors and glue stick.
Go with your gut instinct, just cut out what appeals and lights you up, even if you have no clue why. Just cut.
**Spend time placing it on your pages.
Really look at these images, what is pulling you?
No Art Instinct needed here.
Just Gut instinct.
This is where it begins.
See what your soul is calling for your holiday at home.
4. Write down how the images make you feel.
Spend a little time looking at the page you have created.
Write down what those images and words mean to you?
I wrote mine and here's what I wrote from looking at my vision page:
All of this from my decadent vision page.
So go write down your feelings about your pages.
What are the images telling you?
5. Choose With Your Heart
When you look at your page and you have written out the feelings, you can begin to map out your week.
The list has to make you feel excited, energised, relaxed and recharged.
What can you weave into your holiday at home?
Visit your own city/town/and find out what's on there.
I would love to hear what's on your list.
What Is Stress?
Stress is your body's way of responding to any kind of demand. It can be caused by both good and bad experiences.
What Causes Stress?
Many different things can cause stress -- from physical (such as fear of something dangerous) to emotional (such as worry over your family or job, relationship, bereavement etc...)
Identifying what may be causing you stress is often the first step in learning how to better deal with your stress.
Some of the most common sources of stress are:
Survival Stress - You may have heard the phrase "fight or flight" before. This is a common response to danger in all people and animals. When you are afraid that someone or something may physically hurt you, your body naturally responds with a burst of energy so that you will be better able to survive the dangerous situation (fight) or escape it all together (flight). This is survival stress.
Internal Stress - If you catch yourself worrying about things you can do nothing about or worrying for no reason - then you are dealing with internal stress and it is one of the most important kinds of stress to understand and manage.
This often happens when we worry about things we can't control or put ourselves in situations we know will cause us stress.
Environmental Stress - This is a response to things around you that cause stress, such as noise, crowding, and pressure from work or family.
Identifying these environmental stresses and learning to avoid them or deal with them will help lower your stress level.
Fatigue and Overwork - This kind of stress builds up over a long time and can take a hard toll on your body. It can be caused by working too much or too hard at your job(s), study or at home.
It can also be caused by not knowing how to manage your time well or how to take time out for rest and relaxation.
This can be one of the hardest kinds of stress to avoid because many people feel this is out of their control.
Stress can affect both your body and your mind.
What are your stress levels?
As you read these statements, think about the answer in terms of .......
Always, Sometimes or Never
If you have answered Always to 6 or more of these statements, then this may be a time to seek out support, perhaps first stop is to chat with your Doctor, it may be helpful to chat to them about your responses.
Perhaps you have asked a member of your family to answer these statements, it's important to encourage them to seek out someone to talk to i.e. their Doctor and not to continue to feeling this way.