Are you juggling dealing with something that's making you feel overwhelmed and overloaded? Let's focus on 3 natural ways to de-stress on your doorstep. Green Space A daily dose of green space can really boost our health - and fast. We hear of this all the time don't we, but do we 'really' add it into our 'Creative Healing Toolkit?' Green Space doesn't mean you have to move to the forest or the heart of the country, grounding amongst grass and being side by side to trees is enough. According to Matthew White, environmental psychologist, "just looking at green space lowers stress hormones and increases calming alpha waves in the brain." So when was the last time you made a detour to take in some green space? When did you stop and take yourself out to a local park, your garden, a small cove of trees? Having a dog gives us an excuse to get access to green space - but what about getting access for yourself - at your pace, during your own timetable, without rushing? How about going somewhere different rather than the same park or the same route. We came across this term the other day called Forest Bathing - this is the Japanese inspired practice of woodland walking but with science and research behind it - Trees give off a protective chemical thought to lower blood pressure and reduce stress. Interestingly Walk and Talk Therapy (counselling therapy and walking) is becoming more and more popular around the world. Walk and Talk Therapy - you can read some of the benefits here in 'Taking Therapy Off The Couch' Counsellors and psychotherapists who instead of seeing patients in a traditional office setting, combine walking with psychotherapy. "It's very similar to traditional psychotherapy," one counsellor says, "except you are walking while you are talking about issues. I have found that bringing a little bit of movement enriches the counselling session. My clients are intrigued by the idea and are naturally drawn to being outside." So here are my 3 Ways to De-stress on your Doorstep. 1. Find a local park that you have never been to and go there. Plant your feet in the grass. No mobile phones allowed - take a book, a cup of tea and sit for 15 minutes. If you'd like to walk barefoot in the grass, do it. 2. If finding time is a problem right now, then how about detouring to work via a different greener route, is that possible? Is there a park along the way that you could stop by and sit for 3 minutes to watch the leaves on the trees? If you can park near trees, lower down your window, close your eyes and absorb in their neutralising chemicals. Take 10 minutes out of your lunch time, before work, or after work to detour via a local park. 3. Find or Create a Walking Group - friendship, walking and green space is a gorgeous mix, why not seek out, or create a walking group of your own.
0 Comments
Despite our multiple screens and ever-connected lifestyles, are we officially a society who gets bored? If so, is that such a bad thing? It can be a distressing feeling, being bored - some evidence suggest it places stress on the brain and is linked with anxiety, depression. However, boredom isn't necessarily about having nothing to do. If you're experiencing boredom in 2017 chances are the activities that are filling your schedule may be purely online and they just don't stimulate you. Scrolling and swiping are fast-paced, passive activities and this when we start second-screening - watching TV and scrolling the net at the same time. But that makes things worse, because we're even less focused. We don't need to quit technology altogether, we just need to understand how boredom manifests itself within us. What one person find frustrating makes another feel calm and creative. Here are 5 Benefits to Being Bored: 1. It can make you more creative. Researchers believe that being bored can lead to some of our most original thoughts. They have found that boredom encourages people's minds to wander, leading them to more creative ways of thinking. 2. It lets you know when something is amiss. When people's minds wander and they're not thinking about what's going on around them, they're more likely to think about the future, In a process known as "autobiographical planning," people most frequently plan and anticipate their future goals while daydreaming. 3. It could help make you more productive. By stimulating a region of the brain responsible for both "thought controlling" mechanisms and "thought freeing" activity — thereby increasing mind-wandering behaviour — researchers found that daydreaming doesn't harm one's ability to succeed at an appointed task, but rather helps it. 4. It can make you a better person. European and American Researchers believe that boredom can lead us to do altruistic things. In their studies they found that when we're bored, we lack perceived meaning in our activities and circumstances. This, they say, triggers us to search elsewhere to re-establish our self-meaning. The researchers found that boredom made people more likely to engage in prosocial behaviours like donating to charity and signing up for blood donations to help re-establish feelings of self-meaning. 5. It could be essential to our happiness. Though esteemed philosopher Bertrand Russell mused on the makings of a happy life nearly 90 years ago, his observations about the essential quality of our capacity for boredom seems just as apt today as ever: "A life too full of excitement is an exhausting life, in which continually stronger stimuli are needed to give the thrill that has come to be thought an essential part of pleasure." Disclaimer - this is a test so open-ended it may give you food for thought, or a moment's amusement! I was introduced to this test about 20 years ago by a psychotherapist I was seeing - it really interested me. This past week I stumbled across it again and I thought I'd share it here because, well, it's a bit of fun, but also there's lots of room for discussion and reflection! The Drawing Completion Test is actually called 'The Wartegg Drawing Completion Test' devised by Austro-German psychologist Ehrig Wartegg in 1934. It's a a projective drawing test developed to reveal aspects of personality for diagnostic analysis which he developed within the *Gestalt psychological tradition in Leipzig, Germany. (Gestalt is a philosophy of mind of the Berlin School of experimental psychology. Gestalt psychology is an attempt to understand the laws behind the ability to acquire and maintain meaningful perceptions in an apparently chaotic world.) Like other projective drawing tests, his test is based on the assumption that the content and the qualitative aspects of the drawings reflect the personality of the person drawing. Can this really be so? Let's find out. As you can see from the image each section has a series of lines and shapes. Here's what to do now:
There are no rules, just draw, doodle, complete each section. When you're happy with what you've done. Scroll down and read the symbolism of each area. DO NOT READ the interpretative texts below until you have completed your drawings. * * * * * * * * * * * * * WAVY LINE: this motif has to do with your emotional life. Are you floating on or above the waves, or are you sinking below them? Did you see and project something else altogether? CORNER SQUARE: the square is an architectural unit; your response here relates to your feelings about your house/home or garden. These may have implications with regards to aspects of your identity. CIRCLE: this drawing relates to your sense of self. You may have been assertive or tentative (drawn a face, coloured in the circle etc) or you may have suggested that there are pressures from outside the circle of your self. You may happily have seen yourself as a beaming sun or a flower. CUT OFF CORNER: this will reveal how you relate to your friends, who are at once part of you and separate from you. TWO LINES: the two lines stand for the inescapable dualism of the universe, especially the duality of sex. You may have just revealed your deepest feelings about love (on the other hand, you may not.) BLANK SPACE: your whole life is revealed in this space. Without prompt or guideline you have revealed your innermost self. How can you tell if you're actively listening with your husband, wife, partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, family member, work colleague, customer or client? How can you tell if you're actively listening to YOURSELF? Are you actually hearing the meaning behind your own words and also the words that 'they' are speaking to you. If we are feeling that others are not listening to us, sometimes we are not listening to ourselves and that's the first place to start. Truly Listening. Listening to the music behind the words that you're using. Below there are 18 statements, for each statement, write down whether you consider it to be True (T) or False (F). _______ 1. Most people are brought up to be good listeners. _______ 2. People's thoughts can interfere with their listening. _______ 3. Listening is a natural activity. _______ 4. To be able to listen to others, people need to be able to listen to themselves. _______ 5. Being a good listener never requires self-discipline. _______ 6. People may resist listening to others who blame and get angry with them. _______ 7. People are more likely to talk to people with whom they feel safe and accepted than with those whom they do not. _______ 8. It is always up to other people to communicate precisely what they want. _______ 9. People who have something that they can't wait to say, listen well. _______ 10. Some people listen too much because they're afraid of revealing themselves. _______ 11. An important aspect in developing trust is listening and keeping confidences. _______ 12. Talking is more important than listening in interpersonal communication. _______ 13. The amount people reveal about themselves is likely to influence the amount others tell them about themselves. _______ 14. Fatigue never affects the quality of people's listening. _______ 15. People who feel very emotional about issues are good listeners. _______ 16. Listening to others does not involve paying attention to their voice quality and body language as well as what they say. _______ 17. People who are very angry are rarely good listeners. _______ 18. People sometimes send mixed messages which are difficult for the listener to understand. How did that feel? What did you discover about a) your own listening skills and b) how you listen to yourself? Why not take this to your Journal and explore s'more? This is something that is coming up in client sessions a great deal, there seems to be a theme running through here - are we listening to ourselves, to our bodies, to our spirit self. Are we hearing the nudges? From experience, listening to ourselves is just as important as listening to others, especially if you're working in the helping/healing professions. I'm a huge advocate of writing in a journal. I started doing it when I was in school. Back then, it was more like 'Dear Diary.' When I reached the age of 20, I felt inspired to buy plain journals and to write whenever I wanted to, with no agenda. I used to find the process so enlightening, I connected to a part of myself and I discovered hidden messages, about life, love, career, relationship, health. It's amazing what flows through from brain to pen. When you write regularly in a journal, you begin to notice patterns - in how you feel, what you're repeating and also emotional responses to certain situations. What I know for sure about keeping a journal is this:-
For me, the process always begins with creating a practice. If we turn to the page and expect that we're going to write something profound, then we are setting ourselves up for a fall. So what happens when you're feeling stuck and you just don't know how to get going again? Here are my 10 tips to get your ink flowing again. Pre-requisite: Maybe you need a new notebook (with lines or blank it doesn't matter.) Find something you'll really enjoy lushing over and go treat yourself to a lovely new pen! ps .... there is no right or wrong way of doing this
Hope this has got your journal writing pulsing again. A wonderful resource to turn to is Julia Cameron's Morning Pages, which you can find within her 12 step creative recovery programme The Artist's Way. You can find out and watch her 2 minute video here. When we make decisions and take responsibility for our own wellbeing, we try to create systems that support us, whether that's eating a different diet, moving much more, bathing more, taking time off. Over the past six months, clients have been coming forward to discover more about getting clear and listening to their inner compass. Meditation and quiet time practice has become part of the journey for them. For me, having a consistent 'quiet time, be still kinda practice' (call it meditation, call it relaxation, call it being still) is just as important and is a vital system to support, nurture and ground me, especially as I'm working with clients. However meditation seems to conjure up all sorts of feelings for people. They try it and it doesn't 'work'. People have a go at trying to empty their mind of all thoughts, which is actually a reeeealllly difficult thing to do, and so when it doesn't happen, (**hello thoughts**), they believe they 'can't meditate', they give up and don't bother. Here's the thing, meditation means setting aside some quiet time every day to sit still Really? Yes. What you do during the 'sitting still' can be up to you. * Some people just focus on being mindful of their breathing. * Some people count their breath, hold it and then exhale. * Some people use a prayer or an affirmation and say it in their mind. * Some people use a Sanskrit mantra to help the mind to stop whirring. * Some people will look at a candle flame. * Some people will listen to music and lie down/sit in a chair/on the floor. Meditation is code for 'Stopping.' It will be different for everyone however the gem of meditation is finding the time and setting this aside as part of your daily practice. One of the ways that works well to soothe the mind is to choose a particular mantra or phrase. Saying this over and over to yourself, you'll find that you may suddenly remember an item for your shopping list! if you do, say 'thank you' and return to your mantra/phrase. If you remember that you need to call a family member, say thank you and return to your mantra/phrase. Sitting still is an accumulative practice, it builds up within your body, mind and spirit and you suddenly find, after a month of doing it, that if you miss one day, you'll miss it. Plus add in a Mantra, your unconscious will thank you. For example: I am feeling Calm I am feeling Confident I am feeling Courageous So Hum (Sanskrit for I am ) Time out in your day, every day, is taking responsibility for your own well being. Whether you choose to meditate every morning before your day begins, or whether you meditate early morning, find somewhere in the morning space to sit still for 3 minutes. You will find your own way. But you have to practice. Make the space every day to sit and invite quiet time in. Try this ... Find a chair that feels comfortable for you, somewhere you won't be disturbed, wrap yourself in a blanket, feel warm and cosy. Turn off your phone sound and set the clock timer for your desired time. Choose a gentle reminder tone. I love 'slow rise'. Start with 3 minutes and build up every week until you get to 13 minutes. Growing up, I always felt like my body was split in two halves. The top, which I liked and the bottom, which I didn't - in fact, I would go so far as to say I disliked my lower body. I was a skinny lizzy up to the age of 11 in junior school, due to incessant bouts of tonsillitis and being a gymnastic wannabee, I would often be legs akimbo doing handstands and cartwheels in the school playground. Something happened around the age of 12, after having my tonsils out, I suddenly said hello to 'puppy fat'. I still loved gymnastics and dancing but as I was becoming healthier, my puppy fat got the upper hand. I stopped being picked for netball and it took a lot of encouragement to get me into a swimming costume. I hated not being picked for netball because I loved it. I even felt low when the Ballet Rambert Dance Company visited our school and a group of students were chosen to attend their magical dance workshops. All afternoon dancing in school. I was not one of them. Even though I went to dance classes. I believed that it was because I was not the 'perfect 10'. Looking back, at this young age I feel I anchored all the 'failure' to the lower half of my body. Of course it wasn't failure but in my young developing mind, that's what I thought. Of course it wasn't my lower half of my body's fault - I didn't think this through. A woman in all her glory. Hands up if you categorise your body and launch into a tirade of bitchiness? (I hear you) 'my upper arms are horrendously flabby, I can't possibly show them' 'my calves are so thick and manly, I can't wear anything short' 'my knees are so bulbous and they have a kink in them, I have to cover them' 'my stomach is just one huge hangover mess, I have to wear something big over it' 'my bottom jiggles when I walk, so I'll just stop walking' 'my hips are like tree trunks, I'll have to wear bigger clothes to hide them' The list really could go on and on. These are just some of the things I have heard over the years in counselling sessions. When can we start to see the beautiful vessel we are in? All that luscious skin that houses all the cosmic atoms to make up our gorgeous self. When does that happen? It's time to fuse the two halves into one gorgeous whole. Here are 3 gentle ways to begin. 1. Give your body-half, the positive attention she deserves. Can I have a 'yeah baby to that?!' Get dressed s-l-o-w-l-y. Actually LOOK at your body-half in the mirror as you take off/put on your clothes. I know how you're feeling, usually you want to do this as quick as near damn possible, in the dark, back turned to the mirror, but when you take the time to look, notice how your body is .... and we are seriously all different shapes ... do you really want to ignore you? All those curves and maps of life on your body? THE JD PRESCRIPTION: Say: "I see you and all of you is lovely." Repeat 20 times x three times a day. 2. Write positive words on your body. Write it on there. Declare your love to your hips, thighs, knees, upper arms and breasts and revel in knowing that when you're out, the word is marked there to work its magic. This is not new - people have been tattooing words onto their skins for many thousands of years. Have you read about the research of Dr Masaru Emoto - the water man - go check this out as he shows how molecules of water can change pattern and shape when hearing loving words and when hearing hateful words. Considering the human body is approximately 70% water, that means this change can impact our hearts and minds too. THE JD PRESCRIPTION Grab an eyeliner/lip liner, heck, even a Sharpie and write Words of Love, think of the word that your thighs need to hear, or a word that would soothe your upper arms. Tattooing is an option but if you're thinking of trying something temporary, visit conscious ink, there are some gorgeous temporary ones there. 3. Photograph your body We all know the power of the selfie - what began as a fun way of using our smart phones has taken on the world. What really is the selfie about? It's a reminder to look in our own eyes and say 'I like you, very much, just exactly as you" as Mark Darcy said to Bridget Jones so eloquently. Whether you publish them or keep them private, the purpose is to acknowledge who you are and begin to like yourself. We begin to view ourselves in a different way. Selfies are where it begins. You don't have to declare your photos like I did to a bunch of cool wonderful women on Facebook, but in just beginning to do this practice, you will begin to fuse your split-halved-self. THE JD PRESCRIPTION Don't rush it, find some time where you're on your own and won't be disturbed. Start with parts that you love - your finger nails, your neck, ears, hair, feet, and then move gently on to the half that you feel you're ignoring. This takes time - you will often taken 20+ before you can look and LIKE. Delight in your reflection - enjoy it. Timer Cam is a great App so you can just enjoy the process of bringing both halves together. * * * Healing myself back to health when I was in my 20s, I recognised that I had become my own PI: Private Investigator, I was taking charge of my own health and well being, I was also choosing to be in the driving seat even though I was flat out exhausted, sore, and deeply fatigued. One thing I realised early on in the healing journey, I had to release any negative influences in my life. What do I mean by that? 1. I stopped watching the late night news. This was something I had read about in Louise Hay's 'You Can Heal Your Life,' and it just 'pinged' at me. 2. I decided to take it one step further and I stopped watching news throughout the day, {I returned to reading the newspaper to be informed}. 3. I also didn’t listen to the news on the hour every hour on the radio. (This was before the rise of the internet and multi-cable channels, so I wasn’t even bombarded with it, like we are now. It's even more important now.) I wanted to cleanse my environment so that it could support my healing journey. Just as I cleansed with food, and supported with supplements, I also wanted to cleanse my environment. In this Muse Mantra you're being nudged to release any negative influences. Whether that be a thought, a belief, a behaviour, a situation, or a person who is bringing you down. Take steps to avoid negativity around you. We can’t change the situations around us but we can choose to release the hold it has upon us. This is the beginning of Cocooning - which I talk about in my book I'm writing; Rebalance Me. I would avoid any negative drama or documentary and I certainly wasn’t the kind of person that enjoyed watching horror or violent films, they drained me. I found that as I planned my day and my way to bed, I surrounded myself with as much ritual and positivity as I could. Of course there were often things that shocked me in the news, that I was aware of, but I did my upmost to cocoon from the external world. A person in my past accused me once of being ‘naïve’ because I released these from my daily life but I felt that I was being selective about what I watched and how it was impacting on my health. I also had to release the negative influences from people around me too. They weren’t helping me heal myself, I had to let them go. This is a challenging thing to do but I’m sure that you know who saps your energy, especially when you hang up the phone, or you see they are at your door. It’s important to release these people. Try this Rebalancing Muse Mantra Prompt, sit with your journal and reflect upon the following:- First you have to become still and connect with what feels like a negative influence: this will be different things for different people. a) What feels like a negative influence? Negative influences could be from:- • Dark documentaries • Films with violence • Late night news • On the hour drip feed news • Gossip • Eating animals/birds/fish • People that drain • Friends that hurt • Family that cause pain. • Sugar • Gluten • Wheat etc ....... The list can be long or it can be just one thing that you know is a negative influence. b) What radio station do you listen to? Is it draining you? c) What programmes, documentaries or films do you need to let go of? Once you have some still time to recognise what is a negative influence, then you can choose what you need to do about it - maybe learn to let go, or change something. It can be hard, easy or somewhere in between but if your intuitive self knows it's a negative influence then something's gotta give. Use this Muse Mantra in meditation. 'I surround myself in a |
September is a wonderful time to create new daily rituals.
Rituals that make you feel shine from the inside out.
Let's plant the seed and just look at 4 nurturing rituals for a smooth September start.
Hopefully they may inspire you, and I am sure you can think of more for yourself but maybe these resonate with you.
1. Create space
It is true that all things have a place and picking things up does make us feel better and creates a good feeling around our environment. Is there somewhere in your home that you feel needs a daily habit to create space?
Perhaps a plate for your keys where you know you'll always find them because this is where you will put them.
Hoovering every day may not be something that makes you dance a jig but clearing the space can be a great habit to form, as is putting clothes away every day after the washing has dried, or emptying the dishwasher, or setting a breakfast tray for the morning. Creating space means different things to all of us.
Having a Counselling and Therapy Practice within my home nudges me to vacuum throughout the space to clear the air and prepare the welcome for my clients.
Rituals that make you feel shine from the inside out.
Let's plant the seed and just look at 4 nurturing rituals for a smooth September start.
Hopefully they may inspire you, and I am sure you can think of more for yourself but maybe these resonate with you.
1. Create space
It is true that all things have a place and picking things up does make us feel better and creates a good feeling around our environment. Is there somewhere in your home that you feel needs a daily habit to create space?
Perhaps a plate for your keys where you know you'll always find them because this is where you will put them.
Hoovering every day may not be something that makes you dance a jig but clearing the space can be a great habit to form, as is putting clothes away every day after the washing has dried, or emptying the dishwasher, or setting a breakfast tray for the morning. Creating space means different things to all of us.
Having a Counselling and Therapy Practice within my home nudges me to vacuum throughout the space to clear the air and prepare the welcome for my clients.
2. Play 'The Glad Game.'
'Gratitude' is a buzz word and a very popular one at that, but seriously if you look into the meaning of gratitude, or The Glad Game, as Pollyanna called it, you find that it can change your perspective quite quickly.
If you're feeling out of sorts whether that be something that has happened, an interaction with a friend, colleague, or family member, one thing that can help is to sit down and make a list of everything that you 'gladdens' you about that person. It doesn't solve the situation per se, but it helps you to 'shift the focus'. You can then revisit that list whenever you need to.
At the end of every day, write down 5 things that you make you feel Glad. This can be that the sun was shining, or the baby smiled at you in the supermarket, or your dog curled up close, or your cat purring on your heart, or your partner cooked dinner. You'll be pleasantly surprised. Find yourself a little notebook and keep it by your bedside.
3. Feed the water within.
We know the benefits of drinking water, and approx 70% of your body system is made up of water. Therefore your body needs to drink it, but it also loves to bathe in it or feel it in the shower.
The best habits are to shower daily, or bathe, create a practice around this and you will reap the benefits. Drinking 8 glasses of water a day is a great way to fuel your body, as when we're dehydrated we can feel hungry, tired, and very irritable.
Always drink water before making a decision.
Have you ever tried adding epsom salts into a bath, or a tub of water to soak your feet, (if you don't have time for a bath), it can be revitalising and soothing.
4. Plan Your 'Me Time'.
You may think only people who are successful plan their days - well, it's a great ritual to begin and it's available for everyone.
Scheduling 'Me Time' into your diary, or your smart phone, will help you spend your factor in self care, which is HUGE for those of you who are in the helping/healing/customer service professions.
We often forget to do this for ourselves, often we need a little reminder, so take this from me as your reminder!
Scheduling and getting into a habit of looking at calendars and writing a to do list before bed so that you know what you need to do the following day will give you permission to sleep without it going over and over in your mind.
In Joy
Jules xx
'Gratitude' is a buzz word and a very popular one at that, but seriously if you look into the meaning of gratitude, or The Glad Game, as Pollyanna called it, you find that it can change your perspective quite quickly.
If you're feeling out of sorts whether that be something that has happened, an interaction with a friend, colleague, or family member, one thing that can help is to sit down and make a list of everything that you 'gladdens' you about that person. It doesn't solve the situation per se, but it helps you to 'shift the focus'. You can then revisit that list whenever you need to.
At the end of every day, write down 5 things that you make you feel Glad. This can be that the sun was shining, or the baby smiled at you in the supermarket, or your dog curled up close, or your cat purring on your heart, or your partner cooked dinner. You'll be pleasantly surprised. Find yourself a little notebook and keep it by your bedside.
3. Feed the water within.
We know the benefits of drinking water, and approx 70% of your body system is made up of water. Therefore your body needs to drink it, but it also loves to bathe in it or feel it in the shower.
The best habits are to shower daily, or bathe, create a practice around this and you will reap the benefits. Drinking 8 glasses of water a day is a great way to fuel your body, as when we're dehydrated we can feel hungry, tired, and very irritable.
Always drink water before making a decision.
Have you ever tried adding epsom salts into a bath, or a tub of water to soak your feet, (if you don't have time for a bath), it can be revitalising and soothing.
4. Plan Your 'Me Time'.
You may think only people who are successful plan their days - well, it's a great ritual to begin and it's available for everyone.
Scheduling 'Me Time' into your diary, or your smart phone, will help you spend your factor in self care, which is HUGE for those of you who are in the helping/healing/customer service professions.
We often forget to do this for ourselves, often we need a little reminder, so take this from me as your reminder!
Scheduling and getting into a habit of looking at calendars and writing a to do list before bed so that you know what you need to do the following day will give you permission to sleep without it going over and over in your mind.
In Joy
Jules xx